Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.