Daily Silly Status

When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds

Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?

Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!

They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.

Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.

Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.

I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here

We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.

If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.

All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.

“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.

You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!

I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.