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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
My wife’s new cooking show will be called, "Do you smell Something Burning?"
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?