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I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and that`s where I sleep.
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
Football: 22 people on the field desperately in need of rest and 75,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.