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I don`t care about your status...
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?