Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.