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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.