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Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
You call it multiple personality disorder... I call it being mayor of the little town in my head!
You think I’m mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.