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The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
When I bang my toe against something it`s like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!
I play hard to get along with.