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According to my nipples, summer is over
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
The neighbor`s cat seems to think my flower bed is his litter box. I`ll fix that furry little bugger. I mixed 44 packages of pop rocks into the soil. And now we wait....
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?