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Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone