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My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"