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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
When ever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth and drink all the rum inside. It seems to help.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.