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HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
You`ve already put up your Christmas tree? That`s nothing. I`m already drunk for St. Patrick`s Day.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.