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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.