Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
This year for Lent I`m giving up hanging out with all the people who gave up drinking for Lent.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......