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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
I put on my pants like everyone else. Right after the security guard in Target says "Sir, we`re going to have to ask you to leave."
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.