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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.