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Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
i only drink on days that end with y
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.