Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.