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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.