Daily Silly Status

If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.

I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!

Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum

A hard thing about business is minding your own

You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.

My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.

This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"

I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...

I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.

Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself

My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.

I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.

I try not to limit my madness to March.