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Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.