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Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.