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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn