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Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
when i die i want to be thrown out of an airplane with a superman costume
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?