Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets?
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.