Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
take me drunk i`m home
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
People: What a bunch of bastards!
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Iād steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.