Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.