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They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Did we try giving the government a snickers?
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.