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Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed