Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.