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Worry: a waste of imagination.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…