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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?