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My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.