Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people think you`re stupid.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
"Are you completely sure this isn`t textable?" - the perfect voicemail prompt
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.