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I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower?
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.