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It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
A night of insomnia is usually followed by a morning of browser history clearing
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
I put the hot in psychotic.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.