Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
Velcro is a ripoff
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
I`ve given up on giving up.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna` be a great day.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.