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I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.