Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Turns out the plastic bag they put in your ice bucket at a hotel isn`t for to-go bacon from the breakfast buffet.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??