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If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes