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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I`m worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what Iβll say next.
It doesnβt matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
Iβve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, Iβm gonna βcome on downβ whether they call my name or not.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?