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Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Nothing says "I dont take you seriously" like your dog wagging his tail when you`re yelling at him.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.