Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.