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"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
My mom says I`m special.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".