Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d like to bring a guest.
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.