Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?