Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
I`m afraid if I start working out, I`ll be too sexy
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.