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i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin` large ones" is not the correct answer.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
Home alone… Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?