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Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
And then I was all: “I’m really getting sick of your shit, bitch.” And then she was all: “To speak with a representative please press 7.”
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
Bad decisions make good stories.