Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.