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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?