Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.