Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
I made a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number one: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes? Hurt like hell.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don`t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.