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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
I`m going to hell in every religion!
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!