Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
I’m gonna have to get new pets, I’m running out of passwords.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
This is a lousy dating site.
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.