Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!