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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need a beer.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.