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Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.