Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please don`t hastag out loud...
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.